Eighteen.
Something I really should have learned by 18 is to not try and attempt to balance my coffee mug on the couch next to me. Now the couch is soaked in what was a steaming cup full of half creamer/half coffee (I’m not a bitter coffee kind of gal), and I will have to go brew a whole new pot before writing this post, but it’s fine. So here goes nothing.
1.NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE YOU.
This one’s a bit hard to comprehend, but I can’t think of anything more true. No matter how hard you try to get people to like you, some of them simply won’t. There doesn’t have to be a rhyme or reason for it- the harsh truth is that they don’t need a reason. It’s cruel, but it’s real. We need to absorb this. Like my childhood pal Dr. Seuss said, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
2. NETFLIX CAN WAIT.
Time waits for no one. My freshman year, I was overly obsessed with binge watching shows like Grey’s Anatomy (let’s be honest, how can you not binge watch that show when Cristina is on the verge of leaving and Derek won’t leave Addison for Meredith even though he clearly wants to). But it took the hard realization that my high school years were going to fly by and that I was wasting my spring break away on Netflix to finally get me up out of my binge session and choose real life over a screen. And it felt good. Sometimes it’s nice and much needed to escape through a tv show or movie, but remember when it’s over to come to terms with reality and get your own ball rolling.
3. YOU WILL MESS UP.
Whether it be a stupid mistake (or two, or three) made at a party, or a huge test you know you bombed because you chose to sleep over study, you will mess up. It is inevitable, especially when everyone around you is messing up too. Some mess-ups are fixable, almost all of them. But be sure to follow the cardinal rules, found within the lyrics of my favorite Tim McGraw song.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awzNHuGqoMc
4. IT WON’T MATTER IN FIVE YEARS (OR LESS).
The unreciprocated feelings, the cringeworthy embarrassments, EVEN the failed tests; they are all just blips on your timeline. The best is yet to come. Keep in mind that most high school drama lasts about a week at most, and people forget that dumb thing you did quicker than you will.
5. IF YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET BREAKFAST.
Although my mom (who is a teacher at the high school I just graduated from) would definitely not approve of this one, I’m going to go out on a limb here and admit that this was something I did often my senior year. Sometimes, being late just can’t be helped! And life is way too short to not pick up the Chicken Minis or Shipley’s that we both know will make your morning 1000 times better. Also, most teachers happen to love breakfast, believe it or not. Surprise them with something and hopefully they’ll be so thrilled they forget to mark you down as tardy. Gotta love high school.
6. EVERYONE’S GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING.
As hard as it is to see, more people will relate to you than you think. Sometimes it just takes being honest and open about what you’re feeling to realize that others are going through the exact same thing you are. You aren’t the only person who has ever faced your problems. This world is big and full of people who truly do understand. I hope you find them. Don’t be ashamed of your feelings.Venting sessions save lives.
7. LAUGH AT YOURSELF.
People will judge you even if you don’t give them a reason to. So dance. I know most school dances are ‘dumb,’ but someone special made me realize that if you’re going to spend way too much money on a homecoming dress or new shoes, you might as well make the most of the night and dance. Even I did this, despite my lack of basic human dancing skills and failure to know how to move my hips. Aside from dances, being okay with joking around and laughing at yourself is so important. It makes you look and feel comfortable in your own skin, even if you aren’t.
8. SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE YOU GENUINELY LIKE.
This one is simple. Why waste energy and time hanging around with people you really don’t click with? It’s easier said than done, but try and find people you genuinely like. And then hold on to them. Friendships and relationships should never be forced. If you outgrow a friendship, that’s fine too. Life is all about change.
9. THE LITTLE THINGS MATTER.
Routine days get boring and I don’t deal with them well. I tend to shut down if I don’t feel a constant stream of motivation running through me, so the best thing I have learned to do is to appreciate and get excited for the little things. Someone can do the tiniest thing for me and it will make my entire week. Treat yourself to an overpriced coffee. Play with your dog. Go on a nature run. Blare some music while driving with the windows down and just enjoy this small, out-of-routine gem.
10. APPRECIATE YOUR MENTORS.
We will come across many people in our lives that will always know more and better than we do. Take advantage and let those wiser than you pour into you. Don’t dismiss your teachers. The good ones will make it obvious how much they care about you as a student, and those are the ones you need to realize are rare and not to be looked over. We don’t know everything. And that’s not such a bad thing.
11. DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF WHAT’S REAL.
Amidst the homework and friends and chaotic thoughts about the future and what you’re doing with your life, take a minute to breathe and focus on what’s real. Where are your roots? Who are the people that are most important to you? What matters in the long run? It’s easy to get caught up in day-to-day business, but never lose sight of the real stuff. Love. Family. Authenticity.
12. GO OUT FOR MEALS WITH FRIENDS.
Food and friends; it doesn’t get better than that. Just taking the time to sit down and eat with people you care about is one of the best things you can do. Some of my guy friends literally created their own tradition to meet up for breakfast every Friday morning and they called it “The Breakfast Club”. I know it’s hard to get up that early, but call up a friend and go get some pancakes! It will get your day off to a good start, and it’s just fun. And when you’re there, put the phone down. There’s a real life right in front of you.
13. MENTAL HEALTH DAYS ARE IMPORTANT.
There will be times where you just need a break. School is stressful. Work is overwhelming. Don’t beat yourself up for taking one single day to simply rest. Even getting Starbucks and walking around Target can do wonders. You will feel so much better afterwards, and even more prepared to take on whatever else it is you have to do the next day. Love yourself and let yourself.
14. ALL IT TAKES IS 10 SECONDS OF COURAGE.
If you’ve seen the movie “We Bought a Zoo”, you know that this is the most pivotal quote in the entire film. Just 10 seconds of courage. I know it’s dramatic, but there are always going to be scary things in life. We all fear rejection. We all fear failure and we all fear the possibility of putting ourselves in pain’s way. Vulnerability is terrifying. But you cannot let opportunities pass you by. It’s better to try and fail than to not try at all and wonder for the rest your life what could have been. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live with “what ifs”. So if you want something, toughen up and go get it.
15. READ AND LEARN.
Something I realized recently was that I really took important classes for granted. My goal was to get a good grade in the class, so I made sure I checked all of the superficial requisites off the list. I did the homework. I copied the busy work. Whatever it was, I turned it in; as long as I got the grade, everything was fine. But I never forced myself to sit down and actually absorb the information. The lesson would just become terms to memorize. And I really do regret it. The first AP class I ever took, I absorbed so much because I wanted to, and it made me smarter. I felt good because I genuinely knew more and because I wasn’t just taking the chapters in one ear and out the other. I kept the information contained. I know it’s easy to lose focus in class, but realize what’s in front of you. Learning is kind of cool. It never stops. Don’t be fake. Know your stuff.
16. MAKE PLANS.
Don’t just let the people around you bring themselves to make all the plans. Show that you want to go out and do stuff, and make the effort to plan something. Contribute. It could be the most simple thing like having a movie night at your house or going to the mall. Whatever it is, make plans. Put forth the effort to show those that you care about that you value their company and want to make memories with them.
17. DON’T BE A SHEEP.
We’ve all heard this countless times, but it’s entirely true. Don’t be a freaking sheep. People will see right through you if everything that you do is to follow others because you are scared of showing your true colors. Originality is beautiful. Embrace it.
18. WORK FOR THE FUTURE, BUT LIVE FOR THE PRESENT.
I always get lost in my head thinking about life when I’m older. I think about how my apartment will be decorated and if by then I will have acquired a taste for fine wines, and how I’ll surely be a confident woman, etc. But that is years away. Yes, we need to work for our futures now. We need to do things our future selves will thank us for later. However, we live in the present. It is 2017, not 2025. Appreciate what and who is in your life at this point. Really take it all in, because by the time you know it, life won’t be the way it is now. Be present, always.
With love,
Emma
